Howdy! I’m Lauren, a writer, speaker, and uppity love rebel.
I’m here to help you shed shame, embrace your unique life story, and tell that story to the world. Whether your goal is to feel more comfortable and confident in your body, finally get your book out of your head and into print, or to take that grand adventure you’ve been putting off for too long, I’ve got the resources to help make your wildest dreams an everyday reality.
It all starts with embracing who you are and what story you’re telling to the world.
Here’s my story.
A farmer’s daughter raised right smack on the Mexican border, I grew up eating tacos, watching rodeos, and being acutely aware of how much I stood out as different.
I was queer in every sense of the word and most of my childhood was spent trying to force my large round body into the small square boxes others tried to put me in. My inability to blend in with the crowd felt like a personal failure. My shame over being different led to a depression so deep I wanted to end my life.
College took me to San Francisco, where I loved not being the weirdest one around, but I still felt like something was wrong with me because I wasn’t going to the right bars or didn’t know the latest indy band. So I took off and explored the world, living in Italy, the Czech Republic and Oregon, traveling all over North America and to dozens of countries including China and Ukraine.
Everywhere I went, I stood out.
For too long, I saw my differences as something shameful and bad. For too long, I tried to shrink myself to fit society’s standards.
Then one day, my seemingly healthy younger brother died of cancer and all hell broke loose.
I tried shoving my emotions deep into a box within myself, to be let out only when socially appropriate, but my grief was massive, impossible to contain.
Everything about me became massive, impossible to contain.
And because grief is an amazing permission slip, I just let myself be big. I let my body be vast. I let my emotions be enormous. I let my personality be grandiose.
Instead of trying to shrink, I expanded.
It’s amazing what can happen when you quit trying to fit in and start allowing yourself to stand out.
My best memories and greatest accomplishments come from doing what others said I shouldn’t.
- Posing nude for art classes. (A painting of me once sold for $6000.)
- Traveling the world alone as a woman. (And I’ve only had a gun pulled on me once!)
- Graduating law school. (I’ve got a BA in Cinema too.)
- Finishing a marathon. (And a bunch of other physical feats I was told fat women can’t do.)
- Speaking about queer sex and pornography at Ivy League schools. (Along with hundreds of other talks and workshops I’ve given on topics I was told were so taboo they’d ruin my career if I spoke about them.)
But more than any of the things on my resume, I am proud of the times I turned off the voices of others and listened to my gut when it told me to:
- Quit my job to move home and be with my brother as he fought his cancer. (Our last days together were hard but magical.)
- Do whatever it takes to fix my relationship with my sister. (We live together now and she’s one of my favorite people to be around.)
- Never stop writing, even if it feels like no one is reading. (I write every single day, and have written four books, published one, and am currently working on two more.)
I’ve spent my life making seemingly impossible dreams a reality.
When the world tells me to shrink, I expand.
When I am told who I should be, I celebrate who I am.
When society tries to make me sit down and shut up, I stand up and sing.
When you embrace your unique personal story, you change your life.
When you tell your unique personal story, you change the world.
I am a fat, witchy, queer writer who loves a good adventure and believes there is no such thing as too many tacos.
Who are you?
What’s your story?
What do you want to say to the world while you’re here? What do you want the world to say about you when you’re gone?
Maybe you’re a traveler who goes on grand adventures all over the world.
Maybe you’re a writer who helps give marginalized communities a voice.
Maybe you’re a burlesque dancer shimmying your body proudly on stage.
Your story isn’t a list of stuff you’ve done on a resume, it’s a way of life. It’s the unique imprint you leave on the world.
Imagine a world where people stopped trying to play out the stories other people wrote for them and focused on writing their own stories instead.
When the world tells you to be smaller, I want you to be more grandiose.
When the world tells you to change, I want you to invest even more in yourself.
When the world tries to silence your story, I want you to shout it from the rooftops.
For over ten years, I’ve helped people:
- filter through society’s bullshit to hone in on what truly matters to them,
- live a life centered around what brings them pleasure,
- make a career out of doing what they love.
On my old sex blog QueerieBradshaw.com, I helped people shed the shame they felt around sex. Through the #BawdyLove revolution and my book Bawdy Love: 10 Steps to Profoundly Loving Your Body, I help people feel more comfortable and confident in their skin. My newsletters are intimate, personal reminders that life is too short to not live it your way, and my online programs help people gain the tools they need to make their dreams a reality.
My coaching gives creative people the logistical help they need to achieve their goals, from writing that book they’ve been putting off for years to taking that grand adventure their soul’s been dying to have. I help people break down a seemingly impossible goal and turn it into an actionable, affordable, doable plan that turns dreams into reality.
Retreats are my absolute favorite offering. I love taking a small group of people to a stunning location and watching their lives transform. Workshops and speaking opportunities come in a close second, and I am most happy when I get to interact with you in person.
Lauren is one of the most beautifully sincere people I have ever had the gift of meeting. Her experience runs deep, her perseverance is inspiring. Whether dancing in the sunshine or weathering the storm of life, she is a friend and a mentor - her words are music to my soul.
She ignites a tiny spark inside me to fan the flames into the seldom reached corners of my mind rife with insecurity and doubt, making my uncertainties vanish as my self confidence reemerges and I begin to realize my individual potential and accept myself as I am. I am grateful to her!jessica drake
Spend time with, listen to, or read the words of Lauren Marie Fleming and she'll do one thing - serve you the permission you've been looking for on a decadent golden platter. Her work allows all of us to be unapologetically ourselves, no matter what size, shape, color or flavor we come in. The world needs more Lauren Marie Fleming.Steph Jagger
If you’ve ever struggled with body shame or let your own feelings about how you look dictate your life choices, then you will find Lauren Marie Fleming's Bawdy Love revelatory. Empathic and unwavering, with her trademark wisdom, wit and winsome personality, Lauren’s philosophy and tools for healing self-hatred shepherds us into a new mental paradigm - one in which we come to recognize our unique beauty, sexiness and desirability instead of denying and hiding it. I've seen Lauren transform lives, by empowering her student to move through the shame and fear they've kept inside for so long, and arrive at a place where they see their bodies the way they really are - beautiful.Elle Chase
Coaching with Lauren gives me the same feeling I get after spending a weekend with my best friend, building one another up with unconditional love. In just half an hour, I can go from feeling worthless to feeling like I can take on the world. She provides me with such a unique perspective on body image, weight, and mental health in such a genuine, caring way.
Lauren provides me with the tools to love my flawed body and to thrive within it. She inspires me to be better to myself at a time in my life when I rarely feel like I deserve it. Lauren is blazing the path towards radical self love and I’m behind her 100%!
Having tea with Lauren is like having a date with someone who is already totally into you. Which in a way, Lauren is. Lauren wants you, me and everyone to succeed, to be the people we want to be, to love ourselves without reserve- right now, right here, no exceptions.
When we met there was not a moment of awkwardness- our conversation was open, free and incredibly beneficial. She found the exact words I needed to hear, encouraging me to go out and take my life by the reins, to see the signs life was sending me, to be joyful and passionate in my own body. Lauren's sunny disposition, her questions and her genuine interest make any conversation with her incredibly invigorating and empowering, and having a hot mug of tea to go along with that makes the experience incomparable.Claire Palzer
Frequently Asked Questions
In saying people don’t need to lose weight to love themselves, aren’t you promoting an unhealthy lifestyle?
Short answer: Quite the contrary. Study after study continues to prove that dieting destroys both your physical and emotional health. My work encourages people to thrive as they are, instead of trying to change to fit what someone else wants them to be.
For the long answer to this question, check out my podcast interview with Dr. Martina Shabram. You can find it at LaurenMarieFleming.com/podcast/episode3.
Are you available for interviews and/or media appearances?
I love teaching workshops and speaking to large audiences. You can find links to my past appearances and information about booking me at LaurenMarieFleming.com/press.
Do you offer scholarships, sliding scale, or payment plan options?
Absolutely. I fully believe everyone is worthy of decadence, connection, healing, and fun, no matter what their financial situation.
Every year, I give away 10% of my products, programs, and services to people who could not otherwise afford them. I offer one spot at my retreats a year as a scholarship spot and donate my books, products, and services to groups, organizations, and libraries.
If you’re interested in scholarships or would like a donation to your organization, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
What happens at your retreats?
Transformation. Connection. Healing. Fun. So much fun. And decadence that feeds all of your senses. They’re truly a one-of-a-kind, life-changing experience. Hear from past participants and register for the next retreat at LaurenMarieFleming.com/retreat.
Were you always confident and comfortable in your body?
Not at all. Most of my life I hated my body and felt completely unworthy of love. One day I realized that hatred was destroying me, and since then I’ve taken conscious steps towards loving myself. But I didn’t cross some finish line and never doubt my worth again. Every day, I make the decision that I am worthy of love, acceptance, and respect, of joy, decadence, pleasure, and fun. Some days it’s harder than others, but every day it gets a little bit easier.
Every day, you can make the decision to love yourself as well, and I’m here to help guide you along your path. For more information, check out my Bawdy Love Basics free course.
How can I book you to speak at my business, school, organization, or event?
I am extremely passionate about speaking to groups, and would love to come to your event. Everything you need to know about booking me can be found at LaurenMarieFleming.com/speaking.
Would you come to my Bawdy Love Book Club meeting?
Absolutely! I would be honored. Logistically, it’s difficult for me to physically appear at all book club meetings, but I would happily Skype or FaceTime in. Email info@LaurenMarieFleming.com to arrange it.
How can I connect with other Bawdy Love participants?
Can I send you mail?
I love getting mail! You can email me at info@LaurenMarieFleming.com or snail mail me at Lauren Marie Fleming c/o Bordista Media, LLC, 7710 Hazard Center Drive E-139, San Diego, CA 92108.