There are a lot of “supposed tos” in life, and our career choices are especially full of them.

It is well known that to be successful in this online writer and motivator career I’m creating, I should:

  • blog at least once a week
  • post on Facebook four times a day
  • repost on Twitter six times a day
  • Instagram stunning photos I take
  • be active on Google+
  • pin lots of DIY ideas on Pinterest
  • make polished YouTube videos
  • sell ads on my site
  • optimize my affiliate linkage
  • create content that is Googleable
  • write for other sites
  • build my mailing list
  • connect with your audience.

And in the midst of all of that, I should finish my book, speak at major events, and create profound, meaningful, polished courses and programs.

“This, my friends, is a guaranteed path to success!”

It’s also a guaranteed path to self-destruction if you’re grieving, depressed, PMSing, having a bad hair day, wanting friendships, eating food, walking your dog, enjoying life, going to therapy, attending art shows, and/or are a human being with limited time, patience, and energy.

This week, I was supposed to write a blog post, something about feeling confident wearing less as the hot months approach. I’m excited to write it, I’ve got some great ideas, but they just weren’t coming together.

I kept beating myself up, thinking I HAVE TO WRITE THIS.

Then I asked myself why? Why do I have to write this thing today?

Because I need to blog every other week, like I’ve said I would.

Ask WhyWhy?

Because consistency is good for brand recognition.


Because people need to believe they can trust in me.


So they’ll believe me when I say I’ve got an idea and I think it’s good. So I’ll be seen as credible.


Because if people see me as credible then I can connect with them more fully. They listen to my stories and tell me theirs. We seek and find clarity and comfort together. We grow and make our worlds a better place.


What I am ultimately seeking is connection, clarity, and comfort.

A blog is simply a tool to achieve that.

So then, with that in mind, does it matter if I wrote about bikini bodies, chub rub, and keeping skirts from flying up when you ride your bike? Nope.

But it did still matter that I wrote. And more importantly, it mattered that I wrote from my heart.

Not surprisingly, after spending a week pulling teeth trying to write the fun in the sun clothing piece, this piece came out fluidly, rapidly, and without hesitation. It was what I needed to write this week. It is what my heart needed to share.

Instead of doing all the other things I “shoulda, coulda, woulda” done this week, I:Albie Adoption

  • hunkered down in bed and cried when I was sad
  • went outside and gardened when I was happy
  • made a gourmet feast when I was hungry
  • threw a puppy shower and invited all my friends over to celebrate the adoption of my new fur baby Albus “Albie” Weasley Potter when I was in need of celebration.

These things all brought me clarity, comfort, and connection. They are tools I often overlook, important aspects in growing my personal and professional life.

Crying when I need to, eating when I need to, gardening when I need to, and celebrating when I need to is all as important to my brand, my work, my life as is all of the myriad of “should dos” I listed above.

I’m unique in that my life is my brand, but every business is directly related to the people that run it, and every person is emotionally affected by their professional choices. Whatever you do with your day, whether you’re a stay at home mom, student, CEO, assistant, manager, or clerk, your personal well-being is crucial to your professional achievements.

People pay big, or what my mom might call “bookooh” bucks to get the tools to succeed professionally and personally, but I’m about to give you a free one word tool that will save your life.


Every time you go to do something, ask yourself why you’re doing it.

Then ask yourself why you feel that way. Then ask why again. Then again. Until you reach a feeling, an expectation, a desire that you’re hoping to achieve.

Then ask yourself if that tool you’re using, that thing you’re doing, will actually get you that desired result.

  • Why are you dieting?
  • Why are you buying a new house?
  • Why are you wearing make up?
  • Why are you watching this television show?
  • Why are you living in this town?
  • Why are you wanting to get pregnant?
  • Why are you getting this degree?
  • Why are you eating that kale?
  • Why are you taking that medication?
  • Why are you wearing this outfit?
  • Why are you hanging with this friend?

Your answers won’t always be negative. Maybe you’re watching this television show because it’s entertaining and you like to feel entertained. Fabulous! But if you’re watching the television show because you don’t want to feel left out at work tomorrow when everyone else is talking about it, ask yourself if there are other ways to feel connection and inclusion.

Every day, in every thing you do, ask why you are doing it. If the answer doesn’t delight your heart, do something else.

So, why are you doing what you’re doing? I’d love to know. Reply below, or email me at Info[at]

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