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Why Knowing the Law Matters

While in law school, I interned at the National Center for Lesbian Rights and worked on their legal helpline. I spent months helping non-biological parents gain legal rights to their children. I heard horror stories of kids being taken away by relatives to states like Florida where courts refused to acknowledge their parentage, even in cases where the child had been legally adopted in another state.

Last night, I sat on a call with a loved one and talked through her family’s options for protecting her right to her kid. Even in California, the laws are complicated and confusing for non-biological parents, often forcing them to “sue” their loving partner to get co-parent rights, even if the partner doesn’t contest.

Queer and trans people’s ability to have families, get jobs, and even exist and love openly sits on a tenuously thin thread of Supreme Court cases that were subjectively interpreted by a liberal court. Now that we have an ever-growing conservative court, those rights are in danger of being stricken – just like Roe vs. Wade was.

I went to law school specifically so I could understand how access to rights – or lack thereof – works in the U.S.A., for me and my community. It’s not a coincidence that this all feels complex and over our heads. But if we share our knowledge, we can help each other stand up for our rights.

Lawrence v. Texas and LGBTQ+ Privacy Rights

Lawrence v. Texas (Lawrence) was a landmark 2003 decision that struck down sodomy laws across the United States. Before this case, consensual same-sex sexual activity could still be criminalized, with people facing fines and imprisonment simply for engaging in private, intimate acts.

The backstory from Wikipedia tells us that in 1998, John Geddes Lawrence Jr., an older white man, was arrested along with Tyron Garner, a younger Black man, at Lawrence’s apartment in Texas. The men’s privacy was invaded following a false police report of an armed individual, and their arrest was used as a legal challenge to Texas’s sodomy law.

The court ruled that Texas’s law violated the Due Process clause of the Constitution. Notably, however, it did not declare a fundamental right to privacy for LGBTQ+ people specifically. Rather, it stated that Bowers v. Hardwick, which upheld sodomy laws in 1986, was in error. This decision drew on earlier cases involving privacy, child-rearing, and autonomy, implying that the right to personal privacy, though essential, was indirectly connected to LGBTQ+ rights.

The court’s decision, while a victory, left these rights vulnerable. When Roe v. Wade was overturned, we were reminded that any rights under the same “right to privacy” could also be dismantled.

Obergefell v. Hodges and Marriage Equality

I was out of law school by the time Obergefell v. Hodges gave same-sex couples the right to marry in 2015. This case was a landmark in LGBTQ+ rights, providing a much-needed affirmation of equality and recognition for LGBTQ+ families. But like Lawrence, it hinged on the interpretation of constitutional protections by the sitting justices. The court ruled that marriage is a fundamental right, and denying this right to same-sex couples violated the Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses of the Constitution.

This case was personal for me, as I’d spent time working at NCLR, helping lay the groundwork for marriage equality by researching and providing evidence on the real-life implications of discriminatory marriage laws. I encountered a powerful statistic: people were 75% more likely to support same-sex marriage if they had heard stories of LGBTQ+ people in love. That insight underscored what I had come to believe deeply—that our stories have the power to change minds, even when laws and policies feel rigid.

This is Why Our Stories Matter

When we share our stories, we make the issues personal and relatable, cutting through legal jargon and ideological walls. As author Malcolm Gladwell notes in Revenge of The Tipping Point, the 1990s sitcom Will & Grace helped push the nation towards acceptance of gay rights, including marriage equality, by portraying gay people as relatable, loving, and thriving members of society. The show was a cultural touchpoint that introduced LGBTQ+ individuals to mainstream audiences who might not have had personal connections to queer people otherwise.

Our stories pave the way for understanding. They break down barriers, allowing others to see LGBTQ+ people not just as characters on a page or in a ruling, but as people who deserve love, rights, and protection. In the fight for equality, stories are more than narratives—they are lifelines, creating empathy and fostering acceptance. They remind society that LGBTQ+ rights are human rights, and they reveal a shared humanity that calls for justice and compassion.

Tell Your Story, Make a Difference

Your voice has the power to educate, inspire, and influence hearts and minds. Sharing your story can make a world of difference in the fight for understanding and equality. Start your storytelling journey with my FREE Write More Workbook, designed to help you make more time for writing and share your unique experiences with the world. Grab it below:

Powerful Quotes from Lawrence & Obergefell

Lawrence v. Texas (2003)

1. Justice Anthony Kennedy (majority opinion):

• “The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives. The State cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime.”

2. Justice Kennedy:

• “Liberty protects the person from unwarranted government intrusions into a dwelling or other private places. Liberty presumes an autonomy of self that includes freedom of thought, belief, expression, and certain intimate conduct.”

3. Justice Sandra Day O’Connor (concurring opinion):

• “A law branding one class of persons as criminal solely based on the state’s moral disapproval of that class and the conduct associated with that class runs contrary to the values of the Constitution and the Equal Protection Clause.”

Obergefell v. Hodges (2015)

1. Justice Anthony Kennedy (majority opinion):

• “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were.”

2. Justice Kennedy:

• “The right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person, and under the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment, couples of the same-sex may not be deprived of that right and that liberty.”

3. Justice Kennedy:

• “It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves.”

Action You Can Take

1. Tell Your Story

Sharing your story can have a profound impact on others. Start by writing down your experiences, thoughts, and insights. Download my free Write More Workbook to help you carve out time for writing and begin crafting the story you want to share. Your story matters, and it can help create understanding and drive change.

2. Stay Informed and Advocate

Educate yourself on the legal and social issues affecting the LGBTQ+ community by reading books and articles on this topic (like those in the further reading list above). Share what you learn with friends, family, and your community to build awareness and support for LGBTQ+ rights.

3. Support LGBTQ+ Rights Organizations

Consider supporting organizations like the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) or the ACLU’s LGBTQ & HIV Project, which work tirelessly to protect LGBTQ+ rights. Donations, volunteer work, or simply amplifying their messages on social media can make a big difference.

When we bring real, authentic stories into the world, we are helping people understand the LGBTQ+ community as humans who deserve compassion, respect, and equal protection under the law. Every story is a step toward greater empathy and a more inclusive society.