Are you afraid of putting yourself out there on the Internet {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: “” }}?
Sometimes it can be really hard for me to exist in a queer, fat, genderqueer, femme body in this world.
Especially on social media.
Every time I post a video or photo saying that I deserve to love my body, or that trans people deserve to exist, or that queer people deserve safe spaces, I can guarantee I will go viral.
And not in a good way.
As Taylor says, the haters gonna hate.
But unlike Queen Swift, I’m not always able to just shake it off. Sometimes, I end up curled in a ball on the floor not wanting to go on.
I work with people to get their stories out into the world. Mostly in books, but also in speeches, social media content, and courses.
I’m the best in the world at helping people tell a better story – and I have the receipts to prove it. (Just don’t ask me for directions or to do math! 🤣)
I’ve worked with world-champion athletes, social workers, movie producers, personal development gurus, high-powered entrepreneurs, beginning business owners, and amateur authors wanting to go pro.
Everyone I’ve worked with – yes, every single one – is worried about being attacked online.
It makes sense.
It’s a rough world out there sometimes.
Humans have shunned members of their community since the ancient Greeks came up with the term “ostracized” – where Athenians could vote to banish someone from their community for up to 30 years. Those people would be set to wander the wild without the protection of the city walls and access to food and water.
Modern day ostracizing can feel equally painful, keeping us from the community, connections and resources we need to survive.
Sometimes that shunning is deserved – see Harvey Weintein’s takedown thanks to the #MeToo movement on Twitter.
But as someone who works almost exclusively with people from historically silenced communities, it concerns me how much call out culture and cancel culture is keeping those whose voices we need to hear the most from speaking up.
It equally concerns me how much hateful rhetoric and threats have amplified online and in real life.
I don’t want the fear of haters, trolls or being called out to keep you from telling your story.
Obviously, don’t go out there spewing hate, but if you’re holding back talking about your life, I want you to push through and ask why.
When you’re holding back from telling your story, ask yourself these three questions:
- What am I not saying that I wish I could?
- What’s the worst that could happen if I said that story publicly?
- Am I willing and able to accept those consequences?
If the answer to 2 and 3 are actual, real, harmful consequences to your life, then please don’t tell that story publicly. Write it on a piece of paper to get it out of your head then burn it or rip it up.
Sometimes you have to hold back for the sake of your loved ones. Sometimes you’ve got a legal NDA and you can’t share things. Sometimes you’re not in an emotionally stable enough place to be vulnerable publicly.
That’s all okay!
Not every story has to be shared.
Let it stay private, at least for now.
But if you do this exercise and realize you’re holding back simply because you’re worried what others will think, it’s time to build some resilience.
How do you keep posting on social media even when you know trolls will come back and say hateful shit to you?
How do you keep promoting your book despite that one-star review saying it had too many sex scenes (or the review below it saying there wasn’t enough sex)?
How do you keep creating course content even though you had to refund a client who said your tech was messed up?
If you want to make it in the world as a creative being, you have to actively build resilience.
You have to keep telling your story.
You have to keep putting yourself out there.
You have to keep asking for what you want.
How do you build the kind of foundational resilience that you need to thrive?
The answer for me is stickers.
It might seem funny, or even nonsensical, but stickers have saved me.
Remember when you were a kid and you did a good deed and your teacher gave you a sticker and you wore it all day, proud AF?
My 33 Asks™ workshop is the adult version of that.
It rewards you for going out there and being resilient.
It rewards you for posting your story on social media, even if the trolls come out.
It rewards you for promoting your book or program, even if it’s not everyone likes it.
Most importantly, it rewards you for asking people to help you achiever your dreams, even though vulnerability is scary.
I’m opening doors to it next week, and we go live July 17-21.
I really hope you’ll be there with us all, working together to push through fear and put ourselves out there.
But whether you join or not, I hope you’ll keep speaking up.
Because the world needs your story now more than ever.™
Love,
Lauren
P.S. If you want to make sure you get in on this workshop, reply STICKER MAGIC and I’ll send you a personal email when we open.
