Summer Self-Loving and Self-Care: Have a summertime fling with yourself!

SelfLoveSummer is here, the flowers are blooming, and hot summer nights are my favorite time for some canoodling. But what happens when you’re in no place for canoodling with others? Maybe you’re still healing from your past relationship? Or maybe you’re focused on your career and don’t need any distractions? Or maybe you simply don’t have someone to canoodle with?

What then?

My answer: canoodle yourself.

Ok, this is definitely the most I’ve ever used the word canoodling in my life. But I’m in love with the word, which means “to amorously kiss and cuddle.”

Oh could I use a good canoodling right now. I especially wanted some canoodling after seeing Magic Mike XXL with a group of friends. I usually go for the ladies, but Joe Manganiello had me jonesing for a cuddle real badly. *fans self*

What about you? Could you use some canoodling in your life?

I’m going to bet you could also use more canoodling in your life, so I’m here to offer some ideas for how to

A gay man, a straight couple, a divorcée, a mother, and a dyke walk into Magic Mike...
A gay man, a straight couple, a divorcée, a mother, and a dyke walk into Magic Mike…

canoodle yourself. Even if you have a partner, even if you have seven partners, all of which are happy to canoodle you at once, I’m still going to suggest taking some time for self-canoodling.

Yes, you read that right, self-canoodling. Yes, I did just make that up. Yes, it is the best word ever.

Feel free to share it with your friends.

Self-canoodling may be the best word and concept ever invented. #BawdyLove #TakeThatShakespeare (click to tweet)

I’m making it the summer of self-canoodling. Gonna canoodle here. Gonna canoodle there. Gonna canoodle everywhere! #BawdyLove (click to tweet)


I’m gonna take it to the next level and ask you to go ahead and have a full-out summertime fling with yourself.

The best thing about a fling is how it makes you feel – sexy, flirty, desirable. Like nothing can stop you. Or rather, like nothing can resist you. The best thing about cuddling and kissing is it makes you feel loved, desired, cared for, and protected.

The key to a summertime self-canoodling fling is to do things that make you feel sexy, flirty, desirable, irresistible, loved, cared for, and protected. Add a little fun and connection and you’re good to go!

Sound hard to do on your own? It can be. We’re social creatures, so we often seek validation, protection, and love from others. But I encourage you to stop expecting romantic partners to be the only ones who fill those needs. Fill them with friends. Fill them with colleagues. Fill them, most importantly, yourself.


Here are some ideas for wooing, romancing, and loving yourself this summer:

  • Take yourself out on a picnic. Put the kind of effort into your spread as if you were going to propose marriage to yourself. Bring a champagne glass and a good book.
  • Put on your favorite red lipstick. As my colleague Ashley Manta always says, “Red lipstick is self-care.”
  • Go camping with yourself. I love few things more than sleeping under the stars. It’s so romantic. But I often wait for partners to go with me. This summer, take yourself SelfLove2somewhere romantic to sleep under the stars.
  • Take yourself out to the ballgame. You’ll make best friends in no time, and you’ll get the Cracker Jack toy all to yourself! Total score.
  • Foster an animal. There is nothing more canoodley than a puppy. Well, maybe a kitten. Fostering allows you to help an animal in need for a couple weeks without the commitment to keep it. I wish I could foster Joe Manganiello.
  • Go to the movies and eat all the popcorn. There are some great summer blockbusters out right now.
  • Stay in and cuddle on the couch. Grab your new foster puppy, a pint of ice cream, and pop in your favorite Rom-Com. I just watched a great one called HappyThankYouMorePlease, which may be my new favorite mantra in life.
  • Go fly a kite or blow bubbles. Pick the most colorful, fun kite around. Run around until you’ve got it flying high in the sky. Or maybe grab a bucket of bubbles and let the wind (or one of those fancy bubble blowing machines) blow them for you. Run around and pop them.
  • Have hot, romantic sex with yourself! Light some candles. Draw a bath. Try out a new toy. Take time to woo yourself. You’re worth it.


These are my ideas. What are yours? I’d love to add to this list. How are you going to self-canoodle this summer?



2 Responses

  1. Great ideas!! Reminds me of the time, years ago, when I decided to be my own Valentine. I went out to pick up lots of my favorite house fried rice and my favorite ice cream (Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia), then got cozy at home with the delicious food and a marathon viewing of “The L-Word.”

    1. Sounds like a perfect Valentine’s Day! I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day for the reason to drink good wine, buy good chocolate, and hang out with friends I love. Although to be fair, I don’t really need a reason to do those things. I’d do them any day!

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