Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. One minute, I’m jumping around the house screaming “I’m the queen of the world” and the next I’m sitting in a ball on the floor crying over my worries that this book will be one massive flop that no one likes.

That I will be one massive flop that no one likes.

Isn’t that the root of all life’s problems, feeling not good enough – for success, love, acceptance, respect?

Here are two of the things that have helped me work through my issues of feeling not good enough:

insta_21. Support groups

I know, “loving, supportive friends” is such an obvious, cliché answer to the question of “how do I feel better about myself?” but it’s precisely because it’s obvious and cliché that I mention it. Sometimes we forget what’s right in front of our noses.

When I’m curled in a ball feeling like a failure, there are at least twelve people I could call any time day or night who would happily lift me up, hug me (either virtually or in-person), and let me know how much they appreciate the value I bring to this world. Do I remember a single one of those people when I’m down there on that floor? Nope.

Depression, sadness, anxiety, these are all beasts who feed off of feelings of isolation. They crap loneliness out, right on top of you, until you feel like you’re going to suffocate under the weight of it all.

Whenever you undergo any kind of endeavor – including the grand endeavor of living – you’ve gotta have not only a support group in place, but a plan on how you’ll access them when the time comes.

Here’s a formula I use in Step 8 of Bawdy Love for creating a support group ahead of time.

When I am ___________ (feeling or emotion), I will look to ___________________ (person or thing) for ______________ (kind of support).

Here are some examples of what I wrote down when I did Step Eight:

  • When I am feeling unattractive and self-conscious in my clothes, I will look to plus-size fashion bloggers I admire for outfit inspiration.
  • When I am feeling lonely, I will look to Albus Weasley Potter (my dog) for cuddles.
  • When I am PMSing, I will look to Coconut Bliss Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge non-dairy ice cream for comfort.
  • When I am suffering from a bout of depression, I will turn to my therapist for analyzing and working through my issues.
  • When I am mad at the patriarchy, I will look to my radical feminist friends {list of names here} for commiseration.
  • When I am feeling like my business is a failure, I will look to my mastermind group for a strategy session.

I keep this list on my refrigerator so I can have a constant reminder that I am not alone, that many people believe in me, and that even if this endeavor fails and I fall flat on my face, I have a loving safety net that will catch me.

2. Dance Parties

Because I’m full of clichés today, I’m just going to go ahead and say it: Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” is my life anthem right now. Yes, I know it’s played out, but rightfully so. That song is great! And dancing around to it, letting my whole body shake, that’s the best way I know how to relieve tension in my body.

Other songs I love dancing to right now include Baby Girl by SugarLand, America by Simon & Garfunkel, and Bidi Bidi Bom Bom by Selena. I know, random, but hey, you’ve gotta have a song for every occasion.

When I dance, I don’t worry about how I look, if I’m on beat, or if my moves are smooth. I just move how my body craves to move. If I want to jump, I jump. If I want to bump and grind, I bump and grind. It’s not about rhythm, it’s about release. It’s about getting all your physical tension, anxiety and fears out.

Sometimes I dance all by myself, sometimes I make Albie join me, and sometimes I go to a local club or class to dance with others. But I make it a point to take a break to dance every day, even if it’s just while I’m making dinner. It lifts my spirits and reminds me that it doesn’t really matter if I’m good enough: I’m going to keep dancing anyways.

Keep dancing, Bawdy Lovelies!

With love and light,



BookReleaseParty1This post is a part of my countdown to the release of Bawdy Love: 10 Steps to Profoundly Loving Your Body, which comes out in just two days!

Part workbook, part coloring book, and all kinds of inspiring, Bawdy Love is your friendly guide along the path of radical self-love.

Join Bawdy Lovelies all around the world on  December 1 for the big release party!

In the morning, we’ll pop some champagne, turn on dance tunes, and have a virtual brunch dance party. I may even make pancakes. In the afternoon, I’ll give away some exciting party favors, including a spot at my Bawdy Love retreat. And that evening, we’ll eat cake and drink delicious cocktails at the Barnlight in downtown Eugene, Oregon. More details here.

Preorder your copy of Bawdy Love by November 30 and get:

  • Entered in the Bawdy Love giveaway to win over $1500 in prizes, including a spot at my Bawdy Love retreat! More on the giveaway – including all the ways you can get extra entries – here.
  • Free enrollment in my Silencing Your Inner Critic Course, complete with newly recorded guided meditations – a great companion to the book.
  • My Bawdy Breakfast and Daily Decadence special blended teas.
  • Inspirational postcards to send your friends – only available to people who preorder the book!
  • Special edition inspirational quotes from the book, hand-lettered by Liza Mana Burns for you to print out, color in, and post around your house.

These offers are only available if you preorder by November 30, so order today!